Retubing: Naughty Man At The Back
Retubing (Epilogue): The Felix Project Is Dead

Simian Substitute Site for October 2010: The Infinite Monkey Theorem

The Infinite Monkey Theorem MONTH END PROCESSING FOR SEPTEMBER 2010

Books: Received in my birthday presents in August (thanks darlin'), but not tested in the heat of Kitchen Stadium until September, my favourite cookbook of the moment is Len Deighton's French Cooking For Men. Yes, that Len Deighton, who produced a series of 50 beautifully designed recipe cartoon strips for The Observer back in the sixties. This book reproduces those strips, along with Deighton's copious notes on the theory and science behind various methods of cooking food, written back when Heston Blumenthal was literally just an itch in his dad's balls.

Movies: It's nearly London Film Festival time again, so you know what this site's going to look like for the second half of October. More details soon, of course. In the meantime, you can expect the latest volume of Spank's LFF Diaries to join Vol 1 and Vol 2 on the bookshelves shortly before that. And while we're on the subject of my literary back catalogue, I guess I should remind you that Spank's Edinburgh Diaries Volume Two (as slagged off by Collings and Herrin) is currently on special offer: get a 15% discount if you order it with coupon code FALLREAD305 before October 15th 2010.

Music: HMV and the Mean Fiddler venues have been doing some interesting cross-promotion recently. It goes like this: the venues organise small gigs by popular bands who've got an album coming out. The only way you can get into those gigs is by pre-ordering the album from the HMV website, whereupon you're entered into a draw for a pair of free tickets. Obviously, it's nothing more than a cunning way of making sure people buy records during that all-important first week of release, to give them a nice high chart position. I wouldn't mention it at all, except that The Belated Birthday Girl and I have won two of these draws in the past calendar month: so we've seen Everything Everything at the Camden Barfly, and Grinderman at the Relentless Garage. Maybe you should keep an eye out for future similar offers, before everyone else cottons on to it.

Video: Aside from all the old videos of my own that I've been plugging (and just in case you missed them...), my favourite discovery on YouTube this month has been David Shrigley's A Short Film About Pringle Of Scotland. "I'd like to see a normal shaped lassie modelling them, with a big bottom and a nice pair of hooters."

In the meantime, your Simian Substitute Site for October 2010 is The Infinite Monkey Theorem, discovered by The Belated Birthday Girl a couple of weeks ago. She was searching the web looking for interesting variations on our usual recipe for risotto. (Here's our foolproof tip for the perfect risotto: do everything Jamie tells you.) Anyway, she found one on a site called Colorado Wino, and noticed that in passing they namechecked a local winery called The Infinite Monkey Theorem, at which point she felt I should probably be notified.

There's not too much more to be said beyond that, really. TIMT is run by a Denver winemaker called Ben Parsons, and it looks like the chances of getting bottles of his plonk shipped outside of the US are fairly slim. Which is a shame, because the wines appear to be rather nice, and the simian label designs are a joy to look at. Still, at least there's an interesting website to compensate a little.

Speaking of interesting websites, I'd modestly suggest that you're visiting one right now. Got anything to say about it? See the comment box after these brief messages.

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