MOSTLYFILM: Shortly Oscars 2018
Simian Substitute Site For April 2018: Average Monkey

MOSTLYFILM: Famous Last Words

And that's your lot. Today's post on MostlyFilm, Famous Last Words, is the last thing we'll ever put on the site. We'll keep it available - don't worry, we stuffed some money in the meter before we left - but there won't be any more new content after this one.

Still, you can't deny that you've had plenty of new content over the last week and a bit. And to wrap everything up, I've got what I believe is the largest number of people collaborating on a single post: 21 in total, all of whom have suggested their favourite movie ending using a single image and a bit of dialogue.

This means, of course, that the page you're reading right now is the last ever Red Button Bonus Content post I'll ever do. So what should it be? Well, as my concluding stint as editor gave me access to the site stats, I've decided to reveal to you which are the ten most popular posts I was responsible for during my seven years writing for the site. There are a couple of surprises low down the list, but I think the top five is pretty predictable. See what you think, anyway.

Counting down from 10 through to 1:

10. A Tale Of Two Maniacs
This one was bashed out fairly quickly, I seem to recall. I had the idea on a Sunday, watched both versions over the next 36 hours, and by Wednesday the post was online, a day or two before the remake's short-lived cinema run had completed.

9. Vulgaria
The only piece in my top ten that had any sort of freebie attached: specifically, Third Window Films gave me a pair of free tickets to an advance screening of the film at the Prince Charles.

8. Monoglot Movie Club: Stupid Sexy Flanders
This is the most surprising inclusion in the top ten, for me anyway. I'm not quite sure what drew people to this post, except possibly for the terrible Simpsons-related pun in its title. Horrific puns were a trademark of MMC, of course: I doubt I could ever have topped Jakarta The Unstoppable Sex Machine, although I'm still proud of the subtlety of the very first episode's title. Speaking of which...

7. Monoglot Movie Club: The Dutch Angle
So, this is a slightly disspiriting discovery: there were 32 Monoglot Movie Club posts on MostlyFilm during its lifetime, and the most popular one in terms of page hits was the first one. It was all downhill after that. Sigh.

6. The Great And Powerful Oz
The 15th anniversary of a show's premiere is a spurious excuse for an article and no mistake: but it's an anniversary that stuck in my head because of where I was when it happened (my first ever visit to the US), so I thought it was worth writing about. It gets the odd spike in popularity whenever the show gets a rerun, as it has done on both CBS Action and Sky Atlantic in recent years.

5. Scala Forever*
A piece that still gets quite a bit of traction from fans of the old Scala cinema. On that subject, if you haven't as yet contributed to the crowdfunding of Jane Giles' Scala book, maybe you should.

4. Great TV you've never seen: 32 Short films about Brian Limond*
One advantage of Limmy dabbling in so many different fields is that every time he picks up a new audience, they go looking for introductory pieces like this one. Hopefully the upcoming Limmy's Vines Tour (and its related London date) will have a similar effect.

3. Friends, Romans, Juno’s Countrymen
The dirtiest title I ever managed to get past MostlyFilm's editors, mainly because it requires a knowledge of the Spartacus show's catchphrases to understand why. Both this article and its predecessor (yeah, just a bit further down the page) may possibly be getting the hits thanks to some of the pictures, which required carefully timed grabs of the small number of frames in a shot where nipples weren't visible.

2. Comin' At Ya! (A Brief History Of Sex & Zen)
What can I tell you? People like the dirty stuff. In case you were wondering, the Sex & Zen 4D sequel (i.e. in 3D but with seat-shaking and water-spraying effects... ew) that was mentioned in the Vulgaria review appears to still be in development hell.

1. Spartacus: Blood From An Angry Sky
I'm not going to quote exact hit counts, as it's not my place to do that here. But let's just say that my number 1 post - packed with all the sex, violence and swearing that Spartacus is noted for - has racked up twenty times as many hits as my number 10 post. But to put that into context, the infamous review of 1900 has had three times as many again, such is the power of coming high up on a Google search for 'small boy handjob'. Nevertheless, let's celebrate by killing off this piece - and the concept of MostlyFilm Red Button Bonus Content - with the single most ridiculous scene of violence in the whole of Spartacus. Apologies that the video thumbnail kinda spoils it.


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