Spankify Wrapped 2024: Untappd
Simian Substitute Site for January 2025: De Witte Aap

You're Lucky I Don't Charge: Pick Of The Year 2024

Yeah, it's another one of those minimalist lazy cover years.This is the 43rd year that I’ve done this: do you really need an introduction? Blah blah blah favourite songs of the year blah blah blah been doing it on physical media since 1982 blah blah blah competition at the end to win your own copy of this year’s CD blah blah blah yeah it’ll probably be Dave. There. Happy now? Let's get on with it, then. (Oh, and Merry Christmas from myself and The Belated Birthday Girl, obvs.)

 

Sheena obviously didn't get the memo about the dress code for her own video...1. SHEENA RINGO – as a human (from Carnival) [video]
Welcome to the modishly lower case portion of the CD! And although I’ve been calling her Ringo Shiina on these compilations since 2002, the international market she’s developed as a result of worldwide digital distribution has decided to go with Sheena Ringo as the approved transliteration from the Japanese, so let’s go with that. A lot of her previous appearances on these compilations have either been lead singles or first tracks from their relevant albums, and they tend to end up in slot #1 on here because I appreciate that the lady knows how to make an entrance. This faux Broadway belter is a perfect example of that.

2. UNDERWORLD - denver luna (from Strawberry Hotel) [video]
Not unusual to see Ringo and Underworld on these CDs, of course: it’s not even the first time they’ve appeared back to back at the start. This one’s a banger, inevitably, and comparisons have to be made with the initially similar sounding Born Slippy. This is a more complex piece of work, though, made up of subtle rises and falls in intensity, culminating in that glorious vocoder choir leading into the final surge. It’s impressive that they’ve been doing this for three decades now and still sound fresh.

3. KIIOTO – Hem (from As Dust We Rise) [video]
Finally, a new name! Well, almost. It’s Lou Rhodes, who’s been around on and off about as long as Underworld, with Lamb and also her solo work. After a few years off, she’s emerged with a new beau – Rohan Heath, formerly of Urban Cookie Collective – and the two of them are finding whole new ways of making music together. Rhodes’ fragile voice is at its best when it’s accompanied counter-intuitively, and this collection of bangs, plinks and scrapes frames it excellently here.

4. PETE & BAS - Stepped into the Building (from Mugshot) [video]
Pete and Bas were all over last year’s CD writeup without actually being on the CD itself. Happily, 2024 finally saw the release of the duo’s first album (and, on a side note, Bas’ second). Ironic, then, that my favourite track from it first came out as a single in 2023, in that annoying perineum period between me burning the CD and the actual year end. Debate still rages on as to who’s really responsible for these records – the appearance of solo tunes by producers/’grandsons’ Nine & Dex seems calculated to muddy the waters even further – but I’m happy to just embrace the mystery and enjoy the laid-back groove of this one.

5. RICHARD HAWLEY – People (from In This City They Call You Love) [video]
Hard to know what's new to say about Richard Hawley these days: the runaway success of his stage musical Standing At The Sky’s Edge seems to have consolidated his role as being literally Sheffield in singer-songwriter form. Everything he does seems to refer back to his home town one way or another, most explicitly in this sorta title track from his latest album. It’s a delightfully pretty thing, for once just his voice and guitar and nothing else.

6. ED HARCOURT – 1987 (from El Magnifico) [video]
Recently, The Belated Birthday Girl and I heard Another Girl, Another Planet playing in a bar, and it led her to wonder what the Only Ones’ Peter Perrett was up to now. She was delighted to discover he had a solo album released this year: less so to discover it’s full of songs about how he’s miserable now and would quite like to die (first single: I Wanna Go With Dignity). Compare and contrast with Ed Harcourt, who tells the story here about how he’s cheated death eight times, and what inspires him to make sure he’s not living under the same limitations as a cat. Not sure how true to life these incidents are – something similar happened to me in 1987, though it was by several yards rather than an inch – but it’s a cracking bit of songwriting, as ever. Cheer up, Pete!

...Self and Moonchild got their memo just fine, though.7. SELF ESTEEM & MOONCHILD SANELLY – Big Man (single) [video]
Welcome to the Gender Wars portion of the CD! You’ll notice that this is the bit with all the swearing in it. To be honest, I spent a lot of time wondering whether Self Esteem and Moonchild Senelly’s ode to the ideal male partner was taking the piss, given they were setting the bar as low as ‘being around to sign for her parcels while she’s at work’. But in interviews they seem to be suggesting that bare level of supportiveness is rare these days, so count me in as an ally. It’s a lovely bit of bouncy modern pop, anyway, and that run up to the final chorus (‘she’s a boss bitch / she’s a boss bitch / she’s a boss bitch / I’m a big boy’) is the sort of thing you could imagine enthusiastically yelling along to in a live situation.

8. NORMAN PAIN - Sindhu Sesh (single) [video]
How was 2024, globally speaking? Well, it’s worth noting that in 2023, after much internal debate, I left Lankum’s terminally bleak Go Dig My Grave off the CD because it seemed like a bit of a downer. This year it’s all ‘Norman Pain’s suicide note? Yeah, fuggit, why not.’ Interesting that for all the online chat about the authenticity of Pete and Bas, nobody seems to be asking the same questions of their labelmate Norman, just assuming that the grim life he’s alluded to in his records over the years is the real thing. I’d suggest that okay, it’s possible, but it’s also possible that he’s as much as a constructed character as his fake gangster buddies. But it’s a solidly constructed character either way, and this two and a half minute burst of one man yelling into the abyss is bracing in isolation. It’ll cheer up after this, promise.

9. MARY COUGHLAN - More Like Brigid (from Repeat Rewind) [video]
Told you so. It’s fun to see Mary Coughlan charge into the 40th year of her career with a joyous declaration that she’s doing her own thing: ‘I am what I am / And I won’t be a man / Not trying to match ya / Like Margaret Thatcher’. You may need to do a little research into the lives of the Irish saints to get the full benefit from this, but if you can’t be bothered doing that you can enjoy the outrageous rhymes that Coughlan throws in here: it’s been a joy to see her develop as a songwriter over the last couple of decades.

10. THE THE - Some Days I Drink My Coffee by the Grave of William Blake (from Ensoulment) [video]
We’re at the halfway point in the CD, and maybe like me you’ve noticed that this is largely a collection of old people, some of whom have had music careers lasting several decades. And right on cue, here comes Matt Johnson releasing the first new The The album in a quarter of a century. There was a fair amount of press celebrating Johnson’s return to the public eye, which left me wondering if I’d imagined him being all over Twitter four years ago pushing vaccine/Gates/5G conspirabollocks. It turns out I hadn’t. On close inspection, it looks like Johnson’s political outlook hasn’t changed much since his heyday of the 1980s, and has aged rather badly in parts. At least the Old Man Yells At Cloud vibe of this song manages to stay vague on what he doesn’t like about present day London: you can still enjoy the pretty tune and hope he’s not whining about ULEZ or something.

11. NOËP & RIIVA - Go Home, You’re Drunk (single) [video]
The BBG wants it to be known that the next time she throws a party, the event will culminate in her playing this song on a loop at full volume until everyone buggers off. Just think, if this had been released this eighteen months earlier, it could have been the climax of our civil partnership ceremony. Anyway, six years after we first saw the artist we’re now calling Ennoweepee play his home city of Tallinn, we caught one of his 2024 shows in London, and him bringing on Arrayeayeveeay for a rendition of this single was one of my live highlights of the year. (Note: my favourite video for the song is a live one filmed at the European Music Awards, which Noep has carelessly labelled as ‘suitable for kids’, meaning I can’t put it in a playlist, so you’ll have to watch it here.)

12. AROOJ AFTAB - Last Night Reprise (from Night Reign) [video]
On the subject of our civil partnership, did I ever mention that The BBG and I kinda got hitched to an Arooj Aftab song by mistake? Basically, when the time came for us to sign the register, the people at the venue decided this needed some music to accompany it. As we’d not agreed anything in advance, they slapped on the first song from our pre-ceremony playlist, which was Baghon Main from Aftab's previous album. So we’ve become fairly attached to her as a result, hence the inclusion of this track from her latest record.

Hi, I'm Anna Erhard, and the time's just coming up to ten to six13. ANNA ERHARD - Botanical Garden (from Botanical Garden) [video]
Welcome to the A. E(a)rhar{d|t} portion of the CD! And welcome back to a music category we don’t see here as often as we used to, ‘songs that I first heard while half awake listening to the Chris Hawkins show that left me uncertain whether I’d dreamed them or not’. I initially liked Anna Erhard for the low key Wet Leggish energy of this song, but I’ve come to enjoy her more for the sheer pettiness of her song subjects: a beef with her partner about how he’s not as tall as he thinks he is, a general suspicion of the Blue Man Group, or (as here) the sort of people who leave snotty reviews on Trip Advisor.

14. PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCASTING - Electra (from The Last Flight) [video]
Meanwhile, and somewhat confusingly in the circumstances, Public Service Broadcasting have taken the life of air ace Amelia Earhart as the subject for their latest song cycle. They’ve had to change their usual found audio approach for this one, having to get in an actress to do Earhart’s voice because of the lack of original recordings. But musically, it’s all pretty much business as usual: fast ecstatic tracks like this one that are all ‘woo, flying is great’, and slow ones that are all ‘oh, where did she go?’

15. NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS – Conversion (from Wild God) [video]
My birthday treat for this year was to spend an evening sitting in a darkened room listening to a Nick Cave album, like I was thirteen or something. Yes, it was a Pitchblack Playback event, where we got to hear Wild God just a few hours before it was released. We’ve lost some of the excitement of album drops now they all appear at midnight on streaming, haven’t we? Anyway, it was a great way to be introduced to the (for once) joyous intensity of Cave’s latest songs, and for my money this is the most joyously intense of them.

16. YARD ACT - A Vineyard for the North (from Where’s My Utopia?) [video]
My most streamed song of 2024, or so they say. Not my favourite song, I think – we can come back to that in two tracks time or thereabouts – but there’s definitely something hooky in there that kept me coming back to it until I eventually bought the album. It still fascinates me that Yard Act are so open these days about how their early indie guitar records were just a larval phase they had to negotiate before they could do the sort of music they really wanted to do. And if they ultimately wanted to do songs like this, then that’s fine by me.

17. THE UNTHANKS - Dear Companions (from In Winter) [video]
Twenty or so years after Rachel Unthank first formed a band, she’s finally got around to releasing a Winter set of her own. (That’s the most niche pun you’re going to get in this writeup, I think, so you can relax now.) The Unthanks have always approached old ideas from new and unusual angles, so it’s not surprising that they’ve released a Winterval album rather than a Christmas one, its songs flowing into one another to create a beautifully consistent mood. This one makes for a lovely ending. But it’s not my ending.

18. KAMASI WASHINGTON – Prologue (from Fearless Movement) [video]
I have a ridiculously clear memory of the first time I listened to this track, and the various stages I went through during those eight minutes. Initially, I struggled to work out where I’d heard the tune of Prologue before, eventually realising it’s the tango motif that frequently pops up in Wong Kar-wai’s film Happy Together. Then I found myself looking up who played trumpet on this (it’s Dontae Winslow), because he was obviously stealing the track from under Kamasi Washington’s nose. And then Washington started his sax solo. There’s a note he hits at around the six minute mark – you’ll know it when you hear it – and that’s when I thought ‘well, that’s the final track of POTY 2024 sewn up.’ So here we are.

And that’s my review of the best tunes of 2024, assembled under what I can now reveal were hefty technical challenges. If Matt Johnson really wants to blame Bill Gates for something, he should look into how updates to Windows 10 can effectively destroy a computer by making the operating system too big to fit onto it. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t be a Pick Of The Year without a competition to win a copy of the CD for yourself, and this year the question is a comparatively simple one that takes the title at face value: how much would it cost you in total to buy all the individual tracks on You’re Lucky I Don’t Charge on iTunes? Send your answer to [email protected] before 23:59 GMT on January 31st 2025. First correct answer wins, and if there are no correct answers then the nearest one will win. And I’ll be curious to see if this question sparks off a whole new wave of Steve Jobs conspiracy theories. Being a monkey, and all.



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