If you've reached this page hoping to enter the competition, I'm afraid you're too late: the prize of a copy of the Dance A Dickless Jig CD has already been won. Mind you, only one person entered, and that wasn't until two and a half months after the competition was set, so maybe if you'd got off your fat arse sooner and written you could have been lucky.
Anyhoo. Given that the US aliens-in-high-school TV show Roswell has been renamed Roswell High for UK consumption, how could I possibly infer from that that there may be a British brand of cat food called Roswell? Come on down, Simon Aldous of London, England:
"You refer of course to the fact that Top Cat was retitled Boss Cat in Britain, so as to avoid inadvertent promotion of Top Cat cat food, and to succeed in totally baffling me during my childhood - why are they calling him TC?"
A perfect answer in every detail, so the CD goes to Simon. Congratulations to him on winning my first competition, and probably my last. Given the steady trickle of mail that comes in here regularly, I'm still baffled as to why nobody could be bothered writing in when there was a prize on offer. Why not write and tell me, and the best letter will receive... oh, forget it.
April 1st 2000
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