Steve Chang, Live365.com, 03/11/2003
Dear Live365 Broadcaster,
Live365 has been notified by representatives of Spankradio.com claiming that the title of your broadcast station as Radio Spank closely resembles the trademarked name of Spank Radio. Accordingly, if you are using this name in your broadcast title or as part of your broadcast description that have been trademarked by someone other than you without proper authorization, you are in violation of your User’s Agreement with Live365. Although we have not determined whether or not such trademark does exist and whether or not the individual that contacted us is the rightful owner of such trademark, you may want to revise the title of your broadcast station(s) to avoid any conflict. Please contact us within the next twenty-four (24) hours to let us know whether you intend to revise the description of your broadcast station.
If you choose to challenge this matter and investigate the merits of this claim, please contact the representatives of Spank Radio at [email protected] to resolve the matter. Live365 will allow 24 hours for you to respond to this email with your intentions moving forward. If we do not hear from you within that time period, we will suspend your broadcast until further notice.
Alternatively, if you do have the authority to use such name as part of the title or description of your broadcast station and you are not in violation of the terms of your User's Agreement, please notify us immediately. Please notify us as soon as possible and provide documentation of your rights to use such name as part of your broadcast station.
We do not want to shut down anyone's site and we know our broadcasters put in much time and effort creating their broadcasts. On the other hand, we are required by law to act in a manner that protects the rights holder’s position, and must take appropriate action when notified of a problem according to the terms of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act in response to such requests.
If you have any questions concerning shut down or compliance, please email me directly and if necessary I will forward your message to the appropriate party.
Now, you see, this was a delight to receive after all the huffing and puffing of MPC Trust's threats of 17/10/2003. It's polite, lays out all the facts, and shows that Spank Radio have a genuine case for concern over confusion with Radio Spank. Hopefully it's obvious that such confusion was never deliberately intended. So my Live 365 station now rejoices in the new name of Spank's Audio Lair. The original article that launched it has been updated to include a link to Spank Radio, which is a rather cool station in its own right. Go there now. (But go to Spank's Audio Lair straight after.)
Sheryl Crow Fanclub, Piccadilly Line, 15/11/2003
Well now we have that London Film Festival nonsense out of the way, we can resume normal service on the letters page (if you know what I mean? nudge nudge wink wink).
So click and scroll down to see some impressive Russian Chicks.
Ho ho very satirical. And Suze's Bandwidth Buster for this month is Strong Enough. [dead link, YouTube alternative]
Sheryl Crow Fanclub, Piccadilly Line, 30/11/2003
For god's sake, even MITTENS THE CUTE KITTY is now turning to crime!
Unrelated crime news: a mere 24 hours after I went public about my legal run-in with MPC Trust [see letter dated 17/10/2003], it was reported that AOL have started proceedings to shut down You've Got Post! for infringing their copyright. Notice how our occasional correspondent Jennifer Monroe of MPC Trust is complaining about this on a news site owned by MPC Trust [dead link], and citing an almost identical article she wrote on another site owned by MPC Trust [dead link] as evidence. Jennifer may not be able to spell "foolhardy", but I can spell "schadenfreude".
Your Bandwidth Buster for December appears to be the video for Steve McQueen. [dead link, YouTube alternative]
Xuguang Sanchez, 30/11/2003
Subject: blenheim scenarios
sawfish scuffles brazes possibility counteractive corruption everybody millimeters porosity eternal seats cower advisements admire secondary horns midterm satellites counsellor bluntness exploiting teleologically alabamian pragmatic exasperated portion tasted
scantier tertiary meriting augustine pledges scorings activating telekinesis expiration tampered polyhedron acknowledges mightiness microprogram taught theater tautness plumbing blurs administrations telegraphing adjustable mechanism meagerness excellently bluer expends
pouts texas schoolers portrayed howl scavenge bogged cottonmouth execrate hostilely tentacle adventurers searingly mathematician tater andorra administratively schemers brained tempera existentialist scooped blaine scraped brambly scrabble plight
hysteric plundered admiralty exclaim plotters scheduled hypochlorite idler ever sapping exclude tangents actress adonis accompanying borer crier scheming eutectic acknowledgments bowers powerfully tangy postulating portended teethe accomplish counties bobble boastfully crib existentially covariant hostilities alabama theater postoffices sandwich crackle poring power thanklessness amadeus screwball advances bedford horrified armstrong hydraulic courser
horned taxation brainwashes taxpaying acknowledged postgraduate pocus blackfeet expressible maturation mere hulls maternally experiment ariadne scrupulous tact addictions technician plebian sec methionine exactly satin powerful arragon plenty
I love this shit.
Bob Marley, Dead, 07/12/2003
im going to stab the monkey with my guitar and im gonna hunt u down like dogs!
Try mixing more tobacco with it next time, Bob.
Sheryl Crow Fanclub, Piccadilly Line (2 hours on 17/12/03 to get from Leicester Square to Hounslow), 17/12/2003
Crikey Spank, don't tell me I have missed your last posting date for Christmas.
Crikey Spank, don't tell me I am too late to add my review of Touching The Void to the LFF fing.
Crikey Spank and crikey my large and loyal readership, merry Christmas. [dead link, no YouTube alternative available this time]
Yes, yes and yes. But merry Christmas right back at ya anyway, Suze.
Max Fischer, The Edward Applebee Memorial Aquarium, 09/01/2004
Being an incorrigible narcissist, your compilation CD piece was, of course, immeasurably enhanced for me by the fact that I'm mentioned in it *twice*. Justin is cool, you know. Obviously, the competition is way too hard for me.
Oh, piffle. Though I've actually just rephrased the competition to make it a wee bit easier. Give it another go.
Ivailo Spasov, Sofiq,Bulgaria, 12/01/2004
Hi,my name is Ivailo Spasov and I'm from Bulgaria.I'm owner of the company Balkan Erotic.My company entertaines with snaping(photography)of porno.What exactly we makes is that we take scenes in which we illustrate sexual act between man and woman,group sex,lesbian scenes,scenes with masturbating girls,with self-abusing(onanisming)man,and many scenes with gey men.As a same time we makes short video clips with duration of about 5 minutes-exactly for the sexual acts.All of the actors are over 18 years old.My request to you is the following.Is there any version my company to trade off to you of our products?If it is possible please let me know which will be you conditions and about the prises that you buy that products.I can make you sure that my staff is very professional.The cameras are all digital,so the quality of the products we makes is ! very higher.If it is interesting for you please let me know as soon as possible.
I can't believe it's only January 12th, and I might have had my best letter of 2004 already.
Sheryl Crow Fanclub, Over the Moon, 14/01/2004
Okay it's official, we're going to Mars.
Whoops almost forgot: There Goes The Neighborhood. [dead link, YouTube alternative]
Useful tip: whitehouse.gov is actually a cleverly written parody site. All the real news from President Bush can be found at whitehouse.org. Hope that's cleared that up.
Sheryl Crow Fanclub, Piccadilly Line, 05/02/2004
Greetings sports fans. To celebrate Manchester City's magnificent comeback against The Yids in the Football Association Challenge Cup, fourth round tie action replay, you can now download the commemorative wallpaper for your PC here. [dead link]
As karmic retribution for Suze's casual anti-semitism, City's run as an FA Cup team only lasted for another nine days after his mail. Sometimes the long lead time before letters get published here can be an embarrassing thing...
Dora Casso, 19/02/2004
Subject: www.spank-the-monkey.co.uk ranked # 12 in Google for chinese tattoo translation
Hi there! Sorry for an e-mail out of the blue, but I just did a search for the term chinese tattoo translation on Google and found www.spank-the-monkey.co.uk ranked 12. Since I publish a related website about Business - Services (it's strictly informational, so I'm definitely NOT a competitor of yours), I'd like to link to your site.
My site is one of the best resources for info in our category. Because of this great info, I get a pretty decent amount of visitors...so if I link to you, your site should get some nice traffic as well.
I think you'll see that my site is pretty clean and high quality. I consider my site a good product, and I only request to link to other quality sites. I would ask that you also link to my site in exchange. So you know, I've already linked to you and will keep it there for a few days until I hear from you. If you're interested in swapping links for good, please reply back so I can get you all of the pertinent information.
Thanks!
I'm not sure what confuses me more about this mail: that my site isn't ranked anywhere near that high in Google for chinese tattoo translation, or that Dora's forgotten to tell me what site I'm supposed to be linking to.
Bavardage Limited d/b/a/ You've Got Post!, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, 28/02/2004
As you can see, The Wayback Machine which you believe to be the 'proof' of the Internet, if fallible.
-----Original Message-----
From: Astrid Bragg [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2004 9:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: You've Got Post!
Hello,
The Internet Archive has been archiving the internet since 1996. Although we try to crawl and archive the entire web, this has not always been possible. The date your site appears in the Wayback Machine is the first time the crawler came across your site. If you would like to discus this further, please let me know.
Thank you,
Astrid Bragg
Office Manager
Internet Archive
Are we still going on about this (letter dated 17/10/2003)? Just to clarify, I made a reference to the Wayback Machine because the owners of You've Got Post! (whoever they were that week [dead link]) claimed I had written something here in response to one of their mails. I referred to the relevant archived page to point out that I'd written the piece in question some three years earlier. And now the owners of You've Got Post! (whoever they are this week [dead link])think it's important to point out that actually, three years ago was just the first time that the page was archived in that form, and that the reference could have been up there for even longer. If anyone can interpret the above mail in a way that makes the slightest bit of sense, please let me know.
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